Travel Plans

Processing Ramona's death has came in strange waves and phases. My momentum to travel south to find and meet other relatives or get to know more about my background and history died with Mona.

I have been putting off making any plans to travel south for awhile. Not because I don't want to meet other blood relatives but because the one person I had been searching for will not be there to meet. I'm a pretty bold and daring person, not afraid to take risks or venture out into unknown territory usually. For some reason this journey has been such an emotional roller coaster in ways I could have never anticipated that I have recently felt the need to just stand still on the topic. Unfortunately for those in SC waiting to meet me the avoidance didn't seem fair. So two weeks ago I bought tickets to travel to SC with my Mom to stay with my wonderful foster family and meet my sister, niece and Mona's cousin who I've been in touch with. I have no idea what to expect but we'll take a bunch of pictures and update you all again soon! I have to admit that I'm anxious, nervous and only a little excited. Its slightly uncomfortable to meet people who have thoughts and memories of me that I was just too young to remember to or relate to. I think I'm more excited at this point to get it over with then to actually meet new people. I know that doesn't sound great but its honestly how I feel at the moment. I am however so grateful and excited that my Mom is coming with me! Having her along gives me more peace of mind, a sense of security and comfort!