Lately I've been thinking about what my next move should be. I'm open to suggestions... I know for sure that I want to meet my birth mother but I want to go about it with in the right way. Is there a right way? I do I reach out or connect with her in a way that doesn't feel caught off guard. I want to know if she wants to meet me. I was thinking that finding my half sister could give me better insight as to how to best reach out to my birth mom. Plus I think that she might be an interesting person to meet. It looks like I might have to plan a trip to South Carolina in the near future!
Today is my birthday and for the first time that I can remember I'm wondering if she thought of me today. I wonder if she thinks of me every year on Sept 13. I feel like the thought or feeling would be unavoidable for her on some level. Hopefully someday I'll find out!
Kendra, I am just reading this for the first time tonight. One month after your birthday. I believe that any woman who has given birth, remembers. The remembering comes in different forms I am sure but I can not believe that the marking of another year goes unnoticed. Birthdays, Anniversaries, Deaths become a marker. I can not help but think that your birthmother whether consciously or unconsciously remembers during the month of September that someone she chose to give life stirs her soul. I love you dear daughter.
ReplyDeleteKendra... Just reading this as your mom linked to fb. I am certainly no expert and have no personal experience, but when I think about birthing my children I am sure she thinks about you near your birthday. I also think you should think about approaching your mom before your half sister. I just think otherwise your mom will hear about it through her, etc and I personally think it would be better to hear it from you. I think finding a non invasive way is key. Maybe you could send her a gift- flowers, a body shop basket, something like that and thanking her for choosing to give you life and letting her know you have spent time looking for her to thank her and leave your contact info or even include a stamped envelope with your address and see if she responds. Just a thought... Jackie
ReplyDeleteWow. I just stumbled upon this today and I can't believe how I've walked a parallel path for the last year or so. (I go to Madison and linked in here via your mom's facebook). It's all so similar to my own journey: Beginning a search, getting those first tidbits of information that make you have to just sit and stare at the words, and then a photo (and the subsequent disappointment of seeing someone that isn't a dead-ringer for yourself)...staring into the face of someone who has had a hard life, probably before AND after you came into the picture, half siblings...I know all your thoughts and feelings all too well.
ReplyDeleteI just found my birthmother recently, and it's such a mixed bag of emotions I don't really talk to anyone about it. I'm not even sure WHAT I think...but one thing I am sure of. Your birthmother thinks of you every September 13. No doubt about it. My birthmother had (and has) a very disfunctional life, has no idea who the dad is, and has endured mess after mess in terms of relationships...but one thing she said was that every year when June 11 came around, it was all she could think of all day. So rest assured....September 13 doesn't pass unnoticed. Thanks for your thoughts on this blog! It's inspiring, especially since I love to write and since actually finding my birthmother, it's one area of my life that I haven't found the words for yet. So it's refreshing to read yours.
-Andrea Bult