Wow what a difference a name makes... Yesterday the post adoption specialist at the Grand Rapids branch of Bethany Christian Services Adoption Agency gave me whatever information they had in my file which was:
My birth mothers name: Ramona B. H.
My original name: Chanda Charesma H.
Last known city: Liberty, SC 1980's
They're also sending me a copy of my adoption summary which I had but lost. Excited about this new information, I immediately google searched her name and found nothing, did a public record search and found a lot: 11 addresses, one phone number, date of birth and criminal records to list the valuable things. After about two hours of online searching I called my best friend, my mom and then talked to my roommate before going to bed to process all this new information.
What am I going to do know with all this new information? I'm open to suggestions and creative ideas from you all! Today I plan to contact the Greenville, SC branch of the adoption agency to see if they have any useful information or tips on how to proceed. I want to somehow verify the information I received from the public records and see if there's a way to find picture of her. My mom informed me last night that when I was born there was a birth announcement listed in the local paper to give the birth father a chance to claim be before I was adopted and its probably archived somewhere in that towns local library. It would be interesting to have that. In the 90's she was arrested twice (once for receiving stolen goods and the other for prostitution) which would explain why the 11 addresses are listed as public record. I'm assuming that a parole officer or someone in that line of work would have to account for her whereabouts for a certain number of years. Finding out that she had a prostitution offence in 1990 was the only piece of information that shook me a little. I felt immediately concern for the lifestyle she had been living and maybe still is (hopefully not) and then extremely grateful that although it appears that she's made a series of poor choices in her life giving me up was not one of them!
Family and friends, I'm open to any advice you might have. Maybe some of you out there have gone through this already or know someone who has... Its helpful and encouraging for me to hear your stories. I'd love to know all that you know in regards to the post adoption process. For those of you who know me personally or are a direct part of my story please share your thoughts, memories and any useful information you might have to help me push forward in this search process. Thank you all for your love, support and in being apart of my journey!
So excited that you are finding info Kendra! Hope that it isn't too hard on you emotionally. Not sure if you already know about it, but about the best site I have found for getting info on someone is pipl.com From there you could pay some money to get more information if you haven't already seen it. Just a suggestion. I checked it and looks like she wants scrubs from Amazon... you should send them to her :) - Jackie-
ReplyDeleteScrubs from Amazon? I paid for both PeopleFinders and Intelius which both gave me full Background Reports with address, criminal records, list of possible neighbors even. Thanks for the suggestion!
ReplyDeleteWow! You are brave and strong...having been married to a man who was adopted and experienced the negative affects of someone who did not deal with his adoption I applaud you!! There may be frustrating, painful, scary, exciting, and emotions that words can't even describe...but I totally believe it will be worth it...even if you don't come up with very much...just going through this and laying all of it before God will provide healing for yourself and for your intimate relationships! I am filled with butterflies in my belly for you!!!
ReplyDeleteDear one... I wrote a comment earlier today and lost it to the internet. And so I am trying again...
ReplyDeleteAfter we talked last night while falling asleep, I kept thinking of you. I was reflecting on your comment that inspite of what seems like poor choices on your birth mother's part, she at least made one good decision that you know and that was in "giving me up".
I want to add to that train of thinking and add a few other thoughts. I can think of at least 3 other memorable decisions she made along the way... 1) she chose to give you life instead of keeping the appointment she made to abort you. 2) she decided to put you in foster care the first month of your life before making a permenant decision. 3) she must have really loved you alot to want to try to raise you, which she did for 4-6 months. 4) she love you enough to recognize she wasn't going to be able to be there for you and wanted more for you than what she could give and so she decided to release you into the foster system, which brought you into Theta's loving arms from 8months to 14 months. Those were decisions made out of a love for you.
I also began thinking about how you commented on the phone last night about Javion. You said something like, " if you think about the first time I saw Javion was in August and then the next time was at Christmas and how much he changed during those months. That would be about the same time frame that I was with my birthmother. Alot happens during those months!"
As I fell off to sleep my final thoughts were how God doesn't waste anything and won't waste this either. Which brought me to think about how your birthmother's choice to release you has given so so so much to me, maybe even more than it has given to you. I write now with tears in my eyes thinking about how much I love you and thank God you are my daughter. Another example of how God isn't wasting this "search" and the stories within the story for all of us. xo xo always and forever, mom
yay! Congrats sister...thats a new chapter in your life that has been lost and found. You making me wonder about my birth parents and names and what happend.....but i dont think i have the money
ReplyDeleteWow, this is so exciting Kendra!!! I admire your emotional strength to continue your search. Continue to let God hold your heart and remind you of His love and His purpose for you. And then ditto all the stuff Melanie said about your birth mother...she pretty much said all the same things I wanted to say...but much better.
ReplyDeleteNot sure if you ever saw when I shared my adoption story on my blog...but here is the link
http://sheldonrachel.blogspot.com/2010/01/k82-1453.html
I will continue to keep you in my prayers as you continue on your quest to find more information.